Eye Contact and Gaze.The number of messages we can send with our eyes is almost limitless. We have all heard some of the following words used to describe a person's eyes: direct, sensual, sardonic, expressive, intelligent, penetrating, sad, cheerful, worldly, hard, trusting, suspicious. The impact of eye contact and gaze on human interaction is seen in the fact that people use less eye contact when they are depressed, suffer from low self-esteem, and are uncomfortable in a particular situation.
According to Leathers (1992: 42), there is enough evidence to conclude that in the United States, eyes serve six important communication functions: they "(1) indicate degrees of attentiveness, interest, and arousal; (2) influence attitude change and persuasion; (3) regulate interaction; (4) communicate emotions; (5) define power and status relationships; and (6) assume a central role in impression management."
Culture modifies the amount of eye contact in which we engage and who is the recipient of the eye contact. For the dominant culture in the United States eye contact is highly valued. In fact, most people in Western societies expect the person with whom they are interacting to "look them in the eye." There is even a tendency to be suspicious of someone who does not follow the culturally prescribed rules for eye contact.
Direct eye-to-eye contact, however, is a taboo or an insult in many Asian cultures. People from Latin American and Caribbean cultures also avoid eye contact as a sign of respect. This same orientation toward eye contact is found in Africa. There is even a Zulu proverb that states that the eye is an organ of aggression.
Problems can arise when Westerners attempt to do business with a group of people who believe it is a sign of impertinence to make prolonged eye contact with their communication partners. Arabs, on the other hand, look directly into the eyes of their communication partner, and do so for long periods. They believe such contact shows interest in the other person and helps them assess the truthfulness of the other person's words.
Paralanguage. When watching a foreign movie, you can hear the rise and fall of voices, which may tell you when one person is asking a question and another is making a statement or issuing a command. Whatever the case, certain vocal cues provide you with information with which to make judgments about the characters' personalities, emotional states, ethnic background, and rhetorical activity. Shakespeare said the same thing when he wrote, "I understand the fury in your words, but not the words."
What we have just been considering is often referred to as paralanguage, which involves the linguistic elements of speech, that is, how something is said and not the actual meaning of the spoken words. Most classifications divide paralanguage into three kinds of vocalizations: (1) vocal characterizers (laughing, crying, yelling, moaning, whining, belching, yawning); (2) vocal qualifiers (volume, pitch, rhythm, tempo, resonance, tone); and (3) vocal segregates ("un-huh," "shh," "uh," "oooh," "mmmh," "humm"). It is extraordinary how many inferences about content and character can be made just from the sounds people produce. For example, paralanguage cues assist you in drawing conclusions about an individual's emotional state, socioeconomic status, height, ethnicity, weight, age, intelligence, race, regional background, and educational level. Let's pause for a moment and look at some of the paralanguage messages you receive that help you draw those conclusions.
Volume. As with all other aspects of our nonverbal behavior, culture influences our use of and response to paralanguage. We only have to look at differences in the use of volume to see this. Arabs speak very loudly because loudness for them connotes strength and sincerity, while softness communicates weakness and deviousness. For Israelis, increased volume reflects strong beliefs toward the issue under discussion. Germans conduct their business with a commanding tone that projects authority and self-confidence. On the other end of the continuum, there are cultures that have a very different view toward loud and firm voices. For Thai people, a loud voice is perceived as being impolite. In Japan, raising one's voice often implies a lack of self-control. For them, a gentle and soft voice reflects good manners and helps maintain social harmony—two important values in Japanese culture. When interacting with Americans, people from cultures that speak softly often believe that Americans are angry or upset because of their relatively loud speech.
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