4 When my three sons where growing up, dinner separated the late-afternoon pandemonium of sibling skirmishes and after-school activities from homework and bedtime routines. Our dinner served as a touchstone, symbolizing our importance to one another in good times and bad. Dinner was a time for slowing down, telling news, airing problems, rehashing today and planning for tomorrow.
5 I’m not arguing for a return to the 1950s, when mum stayed at home and took care of the house. But families need to continue sharing dinner, in whatever way works best for them.
Here are some tips to help you recapture or revitalize this endangered tradition:
· Make the family dinner everyone’s responsibility.
6 A survey of working mothers in the US found that 77 per cent of them make dinner alone. Meanwhile, many dual-career parents complain that they can’t find time to spend with their children. Both problems can be solved by getting children to work in the kitchen before and after dinner.
7 Decide who’s going to do what during the meal’s preparation and clearing up, depending upon the ages of your children. What’s important is that you all do it together. Working alongside one another encourages heart-to-heart talk.
· Create a friendly atmosphere.
8 Writer Janice Rosenberg remembers the discomfort she felt as a child when dinner conversation was dominated by criticism and interrogation. This ranged from “Sit up straight” to “Have you learnt your spelling?”
9 Determined never to treat her own children that way, Janice sticks with the old but wonderful rule: treat guests like family and family like guests. “A guest who spills her milk isn’t called an idiot,” she says. Above all, avoid using dinner time as lecture time.
· Avoid interruptions.
10 “We had two rules at our house,” comments American humorist Erma Bombeck, mother of free. “The first was: ‘Either show up for dinner or bring a note from God excusing you. ‘The second: Absolutely no one uses the phone while we’re eating’.”
11 If you can’t ignore the phone, consider the solution of Daine Dittermore. “We have a designated answerer who says, ‘We have a designated answerer who says, ‘We’re having dinner at the moment. I’ll ask him or her to call you back as soon as we’ve finished.’
She says it’s crucial that the rule applies to parents as well as children.
· Turn off the TV.
12 Television is the primary dinner distraction. A poll showed that among families in the US with children under the age of 18 living at home, 42 per cent spend dinner time watching TV. Even worse, children who microwave their own dinners and eat in front of the television lose the sense that family time is more important than TV time.
· Build family rituals.
13 David Kertez, author of Ritual, Politics, and Power (Yale University Press, £ 10-50), stresses that tradition imbues certain times and places with special significance. Jim and Emily Angelini always say grace before starting dinner with their two daughters, Stephanie, 12, and Maria, nine. The blessing reminds the family to be thankful and sets a tone of relaxed togetherness.
14 Just as important, closing rituals prevent children from making a gradual exodus from the table. Lawyer David Babson sometimes asks one of his three children to read a poem at the end of dinner. It’s a gentle way of leaving everyone with a peaceful, contemplative moment. Psychologist Douglas Abbott and his wife Marry often finish Sunday dinner by reading a Bible story to their children. “It’s our family spiritual time,” he says.
· Become a story-teller.
15 Instead of risking the classic stalemate – Dad: “What did you do today?” Son: “Nothing” – try stimulating a child with a story of your own. Children who hear their parents talk over problems are more likely to describe their disappointments and successes at the dinner table too.
Уважаемый посетитель!
Чтобы распечатать файл, скачайте его (в формате Word).
Ссылка на скачивание - внизу страницы.