Nonverbal communication and culture. Identity, stereotypes and prejudices, страница 37

Individualism and Collectivism

Individualism and collectivism are learned through the family, which teaches children whom they must obey and who the dominant figures are in their life.

Directly linked with this concept of obedience is the notion of dominance—who controls the child and who or what the child may control. In the Arab world, children learn that God controls them and must be listened to. In the United States, children learn to answer mainly to themselves or their parents. Among the Maasai of Africa, many people share in raising the child. A Maasai proverb says, "The child has no owner"—all members of the tribe are responsible for the socialization process.

While learning self-reliance and responsibility, the child, through the extended family, is also being taught the parameters of loyalty. For example, the African extended family is extended indeed. Among its members are parents and children, grandparents, uncles and aunts, in-laws, cousins of varying degrees, as well as persons not related by blood. We also find these large networks of loyalty in other cultures. Mexicans are also very loyal to their families and pride themselves on their willingness to put their families first.

The Japanese and Chinese also hold loyalty in the highest esteem. This means children are brought up to seek fulfillment with others rather than individually. Traditionally Chinese children felt a lifelong obligation to their parents, ideally exemplified by an unreserved devotion to please them in every possible way. And in the Arab culture, family loyalty and obligations take precedence over loyalty to friends or the demands of the job.

Age

The family is also the first institution to introduce the child to the notion of age-grading, an important perceptual attribute that greatly influences the way individuals perceive youth as well as old age. It does not take a great deal of documentation to establish the assertion that the dominant American culture prefers youth to old age. From plastic surgery so Americans can look younger, to an active media that praises the values of youth, Americans do not enjoy the benefits of growing old. This condition does not exist in all cultures. In the Arab culture a very different socialization process exists: children are often instructed to kiss the hands of older people when they are introduced to them, to be polite in the presence of elders, and to stand up and offer them their seats. Young people are encouraged to listen to and to learn from their elders. Only from the older people who have lived in the past can one learn anything of value, they are told.

This same respect for the elderly is taught in most Asian cultures. In China, perhaps the chief determinant of relative power is seniority. The hierarchy associated with age in this culture is rather clear. After the father, the eldest male has most of the authority. Because of the influence of Confucian principles in Japan, the younger members of the house are taught to be indebted to the older members for their upbringing. There is even a Chinese proverb that states, "When eating bamboo sprouts, remember who planted them." The French are yet another culture that teaches young people that mature age is preferred to youth. Even the French language has no special word for "youth." The values which French civilization prefer are the values of age.

Social Skills

Through socialization the family teaches the child to integrate into the community, to develop his potentials, and to form stable and meaningful relationships. The individual is not born with the ability to participate in group activities but must learn to take account of others, to share and to cooperate.

While children are very young and primarily under the influence of their immediate family, they acquire an understanding of basic social skills, including politeness, how to communicate to make friends, what subjects can be discussed, and ways of expressing anger or affection. Learning about these social skills comes from children observing and participating in family interactions. We tend to understand and create our sense of family through our perceptions of our family interaction patterns. Thus, we characterize our family as quiet, extroverted, jovial, and so forth, based on how we think we talk to one another.